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Legal
Column, June 2003
By Rosario Perry, Esq.
OUTRAGEOUS
GOINGS ON AROUND TOWN
Well,
this is quit a busy time for all concerned. Especially here in Santa Monica.
With the war in Baghdad and all, most of our local politicians have been
very busy passing City Council resolutions condemning it. And for good
reason, SMRR clearly does not want the wave of democracy to spread too
far and wide, what if such a political concept as "freedom"
stated taking hold here in Santa Monica?
The police station is almost completed. It is probably the ugliest building
in the City (or the County for that matter) and one wonders out loud how
such garbage could be made to stack up on itself for such a great height.
We are told that there is more to come (a parking structure) right next
to the building. Look for that soon to be coming out of the grown. The
total cost so far is estimated at $64,000,000.
The
City is also moving ahead with its plans to build a new downtown library
at a cost of approximately $72,000,000. We are starting to learn that
the new library will hold only about 20% more books than the old one.
Now one might ask why would the City spend some $72,000,000 to build a
new library and tear down a perfectly good one for such small returns
in books. Could it be that the library is not to be used for books? More
SMRR edifice building, with City Taxpayers' hard earned cash.
After
Prop I passed some 4 years ago, the SM City Council gave Housing Department
the power to give Community Corp of Santa Monica up to 5 million dollars
per project to develop low income housing with NO PUBLIC INPUT and NO
COUNCIL REVIEW. The Department recently gave Community Corp over 4 million
dollars to buy 3 empty lots at 15th and Broadway. They measure 150 x 150.
Not
unexpectedly, the City is in the red to the tune of $11,000,000 to $15,000,000
dollars for this year's budget. Of course with all the cutting of services
not one dime has been cut from the millions the city is giving to Community
Corporation to build low income housing units, and all City employees
get their usual salary raises. Neither has the city seen fit to cut back
on its massive building plans. Clearly the city is headed towards a reduction
in bond rating, which will result in much more money being spent for interest,
and much less money available for city services. No one on City Council
seems to know the importance of balancing a budget. We discussed (predicted)
such a financial mess more than a year ago, and such a state is coming
to pass).
RECENT SANTA MONICA LAWS
OF INTEREST
Bootleg
Units Revisited
Do you remember the discussions of about a year ago, where we worried
about what the City would do with (or should I say against) bootleg units.
Well, after some delay the City administration is moving ahead with a
new law which is a mixed bag. Tuesday, April 22, 2003, the City Council
approved a Staff Report from Building And Safety which proposed that an
owner of any discovered bootleg unit be (1) allowed to bring the unit
up to "habitable" condition and (2) be required to pay permit
fees for the work to the tune of approximately $7,000 per unit. This is
a very hefty cost for city permits, and together with the City required
work, may make the "legalization" too expensive. Each case will
involve independent considerations. We appeared at the public comment
period in front of City Council on this issue, and argued on behalf Housing
Providers that the preservation of low income bootleg units required no
city permit fees and light "habitability" considerations. The
Council always suspicious of Housing Providers' concerns, refused to give
us an open hearing on the issue. We will continue with our arguments in
front of Staff as they write the guidelines. We did get a nice write up
in the Santa Monica Daily Press (Thursday, September 24, 2003 edition
(See http://www.smdp.com) for our efforts. We were quoted as stating to
City Council: " [T]here were probably more than 3,000 bootlegged
units in Santa Monica, many of them 300 square feet in size or smaller.
If the [Housing Providers] are forced to pay full price [$7,000 permit
fees], the future of some of the affordable housing may be in jeopardy
."
However,
on the good side of this coin, consider that this is your opportunity
to make legal a bootleg unit. In this way, you will be able to count the
income from this unit towards annual gross income for purposes of refinancing,
or for purposes of sale. Traditionally, banks will not count into gross
income, that money which comes from a bootleg unit. Thus the real income
of the property is reduced (and thereby the real value of the property
is reduced). With the current valuation on residential rental income at
12 and 14 times annual gross income one can see that adding say $500 per
month to the recognized income will increase the property value some $75,000.
That is not a bad return on investment in some cases. Now before anyone
rushes to report themselves to the City, lets see what the final law will
be. All in all we consider this new move a positive step by the City to
preserve low income rental units and resolve a dispute between City and
Rent Board which has been festering for over 20 years.
Rent
Control Regulation 3304 "Absentee Tenants"
The first indications concerning the "absentee tenant" regulation
is positive. There have been about 20 applications filed so far with the
Board (not counting Douglas Emmett's 17 or so to be filed) and they have
been set for hearing within 30 days of the filing of the petition. Don't
forget that you must follow the Board Regulation's procedure exactly as
it is set out in the instructions: i.e., a 10-day notice to the tenant
on Board's form and then the filing of the petition with the Board itself.
Getting important information about where your absentee tenant actually
lives may be difficult in some situations. However, in many situations
it is as simple as calling the local title insurance company and asking
them to search pubic records to see if your tenant owns a home. Always
do a search on the internet for the tenant's name. Some tenants have webpages
about their real homes and lives and work. There are many public record
sources that can be checked from the convenience of your own computer
or telephone.
The applications we have seen so far, show overwhelming evidence that
the tenant is absentee. There might be as many as 3,000 of these units.
Everyone we talk to has one or two tenants who use the apartment for an
office, or second apartment to visit on weekends. And why not? At the
ridiculously low rents that they are paying, they can afford the luxury.
RECENT STATE OF CALIFORNIA
BILLS OF INTEREST
On
another negative note, we must understand that the State legislature has
declared war on Housing Providers statewide. There have been a series
of bills introduced by certain legislators, which if passed into law (effective
January 1, 2004) will make our lives much more difficult and expensive.
Lets review them here: AB = Assembly Bill and SB = Senate Bill.
AB 831 (Goldberg): Unlawful
Detainer
This bill would require a court to restore a defendant in an unlawful
detainer action to possession who has been displaced pursuant to a writ
for possession executed as the result of fraud, mistake, clerical mistake,
inadvertence, accident, surprise, or excusable neglect. Furthermore, this
bill seeks to extend the time that a tenant must answer an UD complaint
from 5 days to 10 days. Finally, this bill seeks to extend the time that
a tenant must vacate his/ her apartment after a writ of possession has
been issued, from 5 days to 10 days. [Goldberg has agreed to amend the
bill so that (1) current law allowing tenant 5 days to vacate after writ
will be extended to 5 "business days"
weekends
and holidays do not count, and (2) current law allowing 5 days for tenant
to file a response to a UD complaint will stay the same in the new law
for UDs alleging that the tenant has used the premises for an unlawful
purpose which poses an imminent threat and danger to the health and safety
of others and the complaint states facts supporting that assertion; but
in all other cases, the time limit for tenants to respond will be extended
to 10 days (i.e., for non payment of rent). Talk about confusion and complications.
Of course no mention is made about the extra rent loss to the owner that
results from the extra 5 days to respond and 5 days to leave. That amounts
to an extra 10-day rent loss over and above the rent losses now suffered
by Housing Providers already.
AB 1059 (Lieber): Retaliatory
Eviction, Punitive Damages.
Should the cap on punitive damages be increased from $1,000 to $2,000?
This bill seeks to assist tenants who have been the subject of a retaliatory
eviction by increasing the limit on punitive damages that may be awarded
in these cases from $1,000 to $2,000. As initially introduced, this bill
was much broader in dealing with the subject of landlord harassment by
prohibiting landlords from engaging in specified acts with malice. This
has all been deleted. If you remember this was the bill that copied word
for work the Santa Monica Tenant Harassment ordinance.
AB
1217 (Leno): Relocation Benefits
Amended as of April 21, 2003. This bill adds the following words: "©
Diminishes or enhances any power in any public entity to mitigate any
adverse impact on persons displaced by reason of the withdrawal from rent
or lease of any accommodations." The purpose of this addition is
to give the City the power to require relocation benefits to be paid to
tenants no matter what their financial income status is. Under current
law, only low income tenants are entitled to receive relocation benefits
under an Ellis eviction. This bill also reaffirms the right of an owner
of a residential hotel, as defined in Section 50519 of the Health and
Safety Code, to withdraw guest rooms or efficiency units under Ellis,
without interference from the City. This bill is set to be heard for vote
in committee on May 5, 2003.
AB 1256 (Koretz): Rent Control
An act to amend Sections 1954.52 and 1954.53 of the Civil Code, relating
to rent control. This bill would abolish the Costa-Hawkins act, and place
under rent con-trol all buildings built after 1979, as well as buildings
built before 1979. This bill was referred to committee in March 2003,
but has not moved forward. It does not seem to have support.
AB 1384 (Maddox): Pre-termination
Inspection
Clarifies existing law which requires a landlord to notify a tenant of
his or her right to request an initial inspection of the rental unit prior
to terminat-ing a tenancy by providing that a landlord is NOT required
to give such a notice or perform the inspection when the landlord has
served on the tenant a three-day notice to pay or quit.
AB
1361 (McCarthy): Non-Residential Security Deposits
Non-residential security deposit refund within 30 days, not two weeks.
This bill was referred to committee in March 2003, and is set for hearing
May 6, 2003.
SB
90 (Torlakson): Residential Security Deposit Refund
Existing law requires the landlord, within three weeks after the tenant
vacates, to furnish the tenant, by personal delivery or by first-class
mail, an itemized statement indicating the basis and amount of any security
received and the disposition of the security. This bill would revise these
provisions to require a landlord to include a receipt for any labor or
material the landlord has paid for and has deducted from the security.
If the receipt lacks certain information about the person or entity providing
the labor or material, the landlord would be required to provide it that
information. The bill would establish specific methods by which a landlord
could may satisfy his or her obligation to provide the above-described
information and remaining security, if any, within three 3 weeks. As of
April 23, 2003 this bill seems destined to pass senate. As proposed this
bill might require the OWNER to actually do all repair work within the
3 weeks, so that bills and receipts for that work are available to be
sent to the tenant.
SB
178 (Cedillo): Rent Control
An act to amend Section 1954.53 of the Civil Code (Costa-Hawkins), relating
to rent control.Costa-Hawkins prohibits cities from imposing requirements
on developers to construct deed restricted units as conditions to approving
new construction or rehabilitation of existing units. This bill would
specify that Costa-Hawkins, does not prohibit cities from (1) requiring
low income deed restricted units to be built and (2) to enforce rent controls
on units built or rehabilitated pursuant to the cities inclusionary zoning
requirements. This bill is a major change to Costa-Hawkins , and probably
will result in unforeseen results of much higher density in cities, and
fewer new construction projects being built. This bill seems destined
to be passed by Senate.
SB 345 (Kuehl): Amendment
to Costa-Hawkins and other Landlord-tenant Related Laws
First, for all owner occupancy terminations starting January 1, 2004,
(i.e. where the owner evicts a tenant to gain occupancy of the unit) the
rent for that unit shall be the same rent as the evicted tenant was paying,
for a period of 5 years starting from the date that the owner first moves
into the unit, no matter how many vacancies occurred after the owner vacates
the unit (note normally, the owner must stay in the unit for at least
one year). Under existing law, an owner who vacated a unit after a year
would have to rent that unit at the old rent. But after the that new tenant
vacated, the owner could go to market rent. Here Kuehl is making the owner
keep the rent at the initial rent for a full 5 years after the owner first
occupied the unit. This Kuehl bill does not apply to most condominiums.
Second, this Kuehl bill freezes the file of all UD lawsuits filed for
60 days after judgment is entered against the tenant. This is an attempt
to stop Housing Providers from finding out if the new proposed tenant
who is applying for an apartment has been evicted from their last apartment.
Each OWNER should have a proposed tenant fill out an application about
these details and if they lie the OWNER can evict for misrepresentation
on the application (See ACTION rental agreement). Third, the Kuehl bill
seeks to require a plaintiff to now attach to the complaint the following
documents: (a) a copy of any notice of termination served on the defendant
(b) a copy of any notice served on the city (with proof of service on
the city) [remember, in SM we are required to serve a copy of a 3-day
and 60-day notice on the Rent Board. We must now attach a copy of that
document in our complaint-more traps for the unwary. (c) any proof of
service of the notice served on the defendant or any public entity, (d)
any written rental agreement or lease regarding the premises, and (e)
proof of registration with any local rent stabilization entity. These
new requirements will create havoc with unlawful detainer lawsuits, and
in the case of Owner Occupancy Evictions, and even technical violations
might result in the same owner being precluded for 4 years from trying
to evict that tenant again. Clearly, Kuehl is trying to complicate the
eviction process to such an extent that it becomes almost unworkable for
the average OWNER to evict a tenant. Fourth, a tenant may cure the non-payment
of rent default by tendering to the OWNER the rent due at any time prior
to the beginning of UD trial. This is one of the major changes in landlord
tenant law for over 150 years. The tenant may do this only once every
two years, and only if the tenant has resided in the unit for one year.
Fifth, showing her true drug loving colors, Kuehl now has limited the
ability of the housing authority to evict tenants for drug related crimes
committed within the government owned apartment unit. While this part
of the amendment only concerns public housing providers, it shows the
extent to which Kuehl is going to stop all evictions. If she intended
to do so, she could not start the destruction of rental housing within
our state in a more effective manner. She is Public Enemy Number One to
housing. This bill is set for third reading, and if it passes it will
go to full Senate.
SB 515 (Kuehl): Amendment
to SLAPP Statute
However, it does not seem to be going anyway, and is totally confusing.
Not a housing issue for now.
HOW GOES OUR ECONOMY?
With
all the bad news on the state legislative level, one may ask why own an
apartment building at all? Clearly the powers that be, are trying to drive
all good OWNER out of the business. Perhaps there is a plan among Kuehl
and her cohorts to take over ownership of apartment buildings altogether
and make them state owned and controlled. What better way to secure a
stronger voter base to promote their own political self interests, than
by filling apartment buildings with low income tenants who vote your political
ticket. For instance, if one studies LA city government it is clear the
City has that plan already in motion. The City of LA has sponsored many
non-profit organizations (top heavy with employee salaries) and these
agencies go around buying up apartment buildings at deep discounts with
City money, after the City Building and Safety and Housing Department
puts these buildings into their REAP program (alleged building code violations).
This one-two punch has been in operation in LA for many years. First the
City comes in with a long list of required repairs, most of which are
unneeded or tenant created defects. The OWNER overwhelmed with the scope
of repairs and the short time limit to make them, falls behind. The building
is then placed into the City's REAP program where tenants are told not
to pay the owner any further rent, and the owner loses his rental income
stream. Next, the owner falls behind in mortgage payments, there is no
money to make repairs. Finally, the OWNER in desperate straights, sees
the non-profits low ball offer as salvation. A neat trick, which sounds
like a federal RICO violation.
Is
there a silver lining to all this distress? Well the general economy as
we all know is in a funk. The War in Iraq (and the run up time to the
beginning of the war) has created unsteady times for all. The lament is
nationwide and universally similar. The Conference Board announced lately
that the U.S. leading index decreased 0.2 percent. The leading index declined
for a second consecutive month in March 2003, but the information available
so far in April suggests that these declines will not continue. The leading
index has been fluctuating around a flat trend since December 2001. The
flatness in the leading index suggests that U.S. real GDP growth will
stay in the 2-3% range for now. As long as economic growth is constrained
in this range, the labor market cannot improve. The coincident index has
been essentially flat in recent months with gains in income and sales
offset by weakness in employment and industrial production. With economic
growth at or slightly below potential, the coincident index is unlikely
to grow strongly.
Half of the ten indicators that make up the leading index decreased in
March. The negative contributors to the index
beginning with the largest negative contributor
were
building permits, average weekly initial claims for unemployment insurance
(inverted), interest rate spread, real money supply, and index of consumer
expectations. The positive contributors (from the largest positive contributor)
were vendor performance, stock prices, manufacturers' new orders for non-defense
capital goods, and manufacturers' new orders for consumer goods and materials.
Average weekly manufacturing hours held steady in March.
The Federal government ran up a deficit of $252.6 billion in the first
six months of the 2003 budget year, nearly twice the total for the same
period a year earlier. The total deficit so far this fiscal year, from
October 2002 through March 2003, compares with a shortfall of $131.9 billion
a year earlier. Government revenues were down by 6.1 percent to $825.2
billion for the six months in comparison to the same period a year earlier.
That partly reflected lower tax revenue from the listless economy. Individual
income tax payments totaled $372.1 billion, representing an 6.8 percent
decline from the previous year. Corporate tax payments plunged by 43 percent
to $44.6 billion. That sharp drop reflected in part the impact of business
tax cuts enacted last year and weaker profits, the Congressional Budget
Office said. Federal spending for the six months totaled $1.08 trillion,
a 6.6 percent increase from the corresponding period in fiscal 2002. The
biggest spending categories so far this budget year are: Social Security,
$249.3 billion; programs of the Health and Human Services Department,
including Medicare and Medicaid, $246.5 billion; military, $180.9 billion;
interest on the public debt, $160.6 billion. For the entire 2002 budget
year, which ended Sept. 30, the government ran up a deficit of $157.8
billion, ending four consecutive years of surpluses. For the month of
March 2003, the government produced a deficit of $58.7 billion. That was
based on revenues of $120.4 billion and outlays of $179.1 billion. The
deficit for March, however, was smaller than the shortfall of $64.2 billion
recorded for the same month last year.
The U.S. House of Representatives just passed a $2.2 trillion budget,
bringing federal spending up to about $25,000 for every family in the
nation. The Congressional Budget Office estimates that deficits over the
next 10 years will reach $1.2 trillion. The Financial Times gives a $1.5
trillion estimate. And Goldman Sachs puts the number as high as $4.2 trillion.
Meanwhile, the states face huge financial problems. They're cutting back
on police, libraries, roads just about everything in an effort
to close the $100 billion gap between revenues and expenditures. "State
governments are under siege," says the President of the National
Conference of State Legislatures. New York faced a "doomsday budget,"
say the press reports. How come the states are forced to cut back...while
the Feds keep expanding? Fed governor Ben Bernanke explained last summer:
"We have a technology called a printing press...!" The states
can't print money; the feds can.
However,
here at home in Santa Monica things may be different. A local long time
real estate broker, Vince Muselli, reports that Archstone Communities,
the Englewood, CO-based apartment REIT, bought three buildings in Santa
Monica (425 Broadway, 1455 Fourth St. and 1915 Ocean Way) for a total
of 57,500,000. With those types of numbers, one wonders what is going
on. Is real estate exempt from the hard times which seem to hang over
the heads of all other areas of the economy? Well figures released in
April 2003 (this month) by the U.S. Commerce Department showed that new
homes were started at a seasonally adjusted annual rate of 1.78 million
in March, an increase of 8.3 percent from February 2003's pace of 1.64
million units. National Association of Home Builders (a Washington-based
trade association) said that this report "provides good news that
the industry remained resilient through major weather gyrations as well
as uncertainties related to the war in Iraq and a potential terrorist
backlash. It's now clear that, in this year's first quarter, housing once
again provided a solid contribution to growth in the nation's Gross Domestic
Product." And that about sums up the economy. The housing market
is the engine that keeps this country's economy running.
At a recent real estate trends conference held by the Urban Land Institute
in Washington D.C. the message was that Real estate continues to be the
favored investment despite rising vacancy rates and falling rents in the
office and apartment markets. Real estate still appears to be the investment
vehicle most able to withstand a variety of unknowns. Because real estate
has consistently outperformed other forms of investment, investment capital
continues to flow into real estate from a variety of sources, such as
pension funds, foreign investment companies and private investors, with
the sum total approaching $90 billion overall. The multifamily sector
will remain a strong investment area, even though vacancy rates are up,
due to steady population increases in the years ahead that will fuel productivity
and generate demand for development to accommodate the growth. (The U.S.
Census Bureau projects that the nation's population will rise by more
than 60 million by 2025.) Where are these people to live? Well in our
apartment buildings of course. Better, is the fact that population trends
show that the LA area will increase in growth faster and greater than
most other areas of the country. Furthermore, the West Coast is seen as
safer than the East Coast because of terrorism concerns. Finally, job
growth is seen stronger in LA area than in most sectors of the country.
The nearly 80 million young people born between the early 1980s and 2002
have the potential to boost the apartment market demand in the years ahead,
with demand particularly high for less expensive "class B" and
"class C" space. The more expensive "class A" space
is likely to become increasingly popular with empty-nester baby boomers
who choose to rent, rather than own. We have both types of buildings in
our City.
The Real Estate sector is so strong that even Alan Greenspan (Federal
Reserve Chairman) is paying attention to its performance. He had a private
meeting on April 9, 2003 with a select group of 23 brokers from large
real estate companies around the country to tap their collective views
on the state of the nation's local and regional housing markets. When
you're hot, you're hot.
Back in the LA area, First Republic Bank reports that luxury home values
in California climbed 3 percent last year, with Southern California values
hitting some of their highest levels on record. Values in Los Angeles
were up 3.6 percent in 2002 compared with 2001. Fourth quarter values
in the city were up 3 percent from the previous quarter, driving average
prices up to $1.34 million, the highest since 1992. David Mossler, of
Mossler, Deasy & Doe in Beverly Hills, said the strength of the entertainment
business and lack of inventory in Southern California continue to drive
the luxury home market. "In West Los Angeles, there is great demand
for quality houses that are well-priced, but I have buyers who can't find
houses."
Economic
Summary for This Month
What all the above means is that the economy is in a state of suspense.
With high spending and low revenue, the government is printing more and
more paper money. This decreases the value of the money, increases overseas
currencies against the US Dollar, and makes owning stocks and bonds somewhat
risky. Furthermore, keeping cash in the bank probably results in a 2 to
3% loss each year on that real value of those funds. The fact that gold
is going up in value indicates that the dollar is going down in value.
Real Estate single family homes seem to be holding their own in value,
but there is a possibility that expensive homes will decrease in value
with the worsening of the job market. Thus the only really fail safe investment
for now is residential rental properties. Investment properties are insulated
from foreign investment trends, and are not jeopardized by decreases in
high end single family home sales. Indeed, as single family home values
fall, more and more people are moving into rental units because they cannot
afford the large mortgages. So with all the uncertainties that accompany
poor economic times, rental income is the best place to put your money.
AN OPEN LETTER
TO PRESIDENT GEORGE W. BUSH
| Dear
Mr. President,
Thank
you and congratulations on your recent victory in Iraq. Many people
were doubtful that you would do so well and so fast. (General Barry
McCaffery (ret.) for one was especially harsh in his criticisms-
sour milk). I for one, was sure that you would succeed, and quickly
so. Now those same doubters are telling you where to invade and
not invade next. Some want you to go into Syria and some into Iran
or North Korea. Well from one who has always been supportive of
you and your wars, I would like you to think about invading another
political entity, one equally as horrible as any of the axis of
evil you have already identified.
I know that you do not want to invade just any country, but only
one where there exists rampant and gross violations of human civil
liberties, one which is controlled by a few with dictatorial power
depriving people of basic rights of freedom of speech, political
expression and property rights.
I
suggest that there is another locale more menacing, more anti-humanitarian,
more terrorist oriented than any you have been told about to date.
Mr. President if you would extend the Iraq-Iran-North Korea axis-of-evil
line through its natural progression (into and through the Pacific
Ocean) you would reach, yes Mr. President, the City of Santa Monica.
This fourth locale, the actual anchor of the axis of evil, is more
heinous, more burdensome, more repressive than any other government
you have seen yet. Santa Monica ruled by a radical religious political
minority party called SMRR, and is more repressive than Saddam Hussein
or any other leader you have had the misfortune to see or hear about
(either in person or on television). Here in Santa Monica there
is no right to speak freely (see Tenant Harassment Law making it
illegal for a Housing Provider to talk to or not talk to a tenant)
and there is no private property rights (see Rent Control and Zoning,
laws) as you have in America under your 1st and 5th amendments to
the U.S. Constitution.
So what I am suggesting to you, is that you have your US Armed forces
invade Santa Monica, and liberate it from the unholy alliance who
rule it like a private country club. In the process, you will be
liberating the few Americans who are being held hostage here (forced
to work at maintaining apartment buildings for absentee tenants).
While
I am not a military expert by any means, I have been studying the
situation (based on what I have learned from CNN's "Iraqi Freedom"
was that their name or yours?). I suggest that you send only one
aircraft carrier (from San Diego) plus 15 tank carrier ships and
5,000 paratroopers (the 101st Air Borne would be preferable, they
have Bastone flowing in their blood). Be sure to park the air craft
carrier near Catalina Island, because if it comes any closer your
pilots will over-fly the city and may be bomb Beverly Hills by mistake.
The two towns are getting to look and feel very much alike. (Bombing
Beverly Hills would be a negative thing, and you will be hearing
about that in movies for years to come). A few Harrier jets will
easily take out all opposition. Now, land the tanks on the beach
south of the pier, drive up Ocean Park Blvd. to Main Street, turn
left and go 5 blocks to city hall (you can't miss that building,
it is the only one in Santa Monica which has an american flag flying-it
is a throw back to the old days before SM succeeded from the United
States). Do NOT land north of the pier because there is a large
bluff there and that will slow the tanks up considerably. They would
have to drive up the California Incline, and the poor condition
it is in, will mean great delays for the tanks. Drop the 5,000 paratroopers
onto the Rand Land across from city hall. (Please be careful not
to ruin the $53,000,000 soil we just purchased). However, if the
carrier plans wish to blow up some buildings, may I suggest the
new Saddam Hussein Memorial Civil Servant Building being built behind
City Hall at the tune of $64,000,000. That building is perhaps the
ugliest building ever built by humans (if indeed they are in control
of the design and building), and is suppose to be Nouveau Oppression
in design (I don't doubt it for a moment). It is also destined to
be the headquarters for the repressive city semi-secret police department,
where SMRR plans to further intimidate housing providers of our
city. If you give me some warning of your visit, I will have crosses
painted on the tops of local apartment buildings which have gotten
Costa-Hawkins increases, the rest just blow away.
Santa Monica is so very close to Baghdad in so many ways. People
are sleeping in the streets starving, no food to eat and no shelter
to keep them warm, no clothes to wear, and yet the City is busy
building these edifice mansions to the greater glory of its political
leaders. Rand redevelopment ($53,000,000 to start $300,000,000 to
finish?), police station ($72,000,000) public library (it will hold
only 1/6 more books and cost $66,000,000). Doesn't that sound like
Saddam Hussein's program of building palaces while his people starved
to death. All public revenues being used to build unneeded palaces
to promote the grandeur of the SMRR political party, to the detriment
of schools, poor, homeless, and the hungry sleeping in the streets.
By the way, the poor living the Pico Corridor will quickly come
to join your forces once you drive into town, they will be a wealth
of information to discovery where the City's hidden documents of
graft and nepotism are buried. They will also assist you in rooting
out the enemies of the people.
Now while I do not think you will need the same size army as in
Iraq, I do not want you to under-rate these political quacks. they
have staying power, they know a good thing (money train) when they
see it, and will not be easily deposed. There is no tearing down
of a statute or two and then going home. I think it will be harder
in some ways than in Baghdad. These hacks will fight like cats and
dogs for their quarters. However, if you time your arrive correctly,
most of them will be away living in their real homes, as many of
them only have apartments in our city as vacation homes, absentee
tenants.
Dear
President, do not abandon us, we are overwhelmed, abused, battered
and forlorn. Help us. Please bring the American flag and all it
stands for, to Santa Monica. We here are ready to embrace the American
way of life with its constitutional guarantees. We have forgotten
what that all means, but if you leave a caretaker government behind,
we will learn what American is about, all over again.
Rosario
Perry
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