People are wondering how Robert Kronovet, a Republican landlord, could get elected to the Rent Control Board. My guess is that Santa Monica voters thought that the name Khrushchev had just been misspelled.

Because of the slow down in the real estate market, I have decided to make a career change. I am giving up the real estate business and will be full time selling Obama memorabilia.

How bad is the economy? It’s so bad that one of the top ten job prospects for graduating college seniors is panhandling.

A recent engineering graduate was spotted in front of a 7-Eleven with a sign reading “Will do differential equations for food.”

Due to the budget crisis, California’s municipal bond raiding has been downgraded to the lowest level of any state. There are three grade levels: 1) “Excellent” 2) “Average”, and 3) “You’ve got to be kidding me.”

To discourage panhandling, Santa Monica residents are encouraged to wear lapel buttons which read, “I was a Bernie
Madoff investor.”

The first annual Reunion of Bernard Madoff Investors is scheduled for Los Angeles. The event will be held downtown in the ballroom of the Union Rescue Mission.

California Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger’s plan to close state offices every first and third Friday has come under attack from public employee union representatives. It seems that civil servants object to being home doing nothing, preferring instead to be at their offices doing nothing.

The Santa Monica City Council has adopted an ordinance prohibiting smoking in the common areas of apartment and condominium buildings. Another ordinance is being introduced for a first reading that will require that, each day, adults must make their beds and children must do their homework.

Rumors at press time could not be confirmed that Smokey Bear lives in a rent controlled apartment North of Wilshire.

The “Salt and Pepper Bandit”, so named by police because of his grey hair, has been nabbed by police as the suspect in a string of as many as 17 bank holdups. Still at-large is his father, the “Cream and Sugar Thief.”

In their search for a new council member to replace the deceased Herb Katz, the selection criteria was to find someone with a passion for public service, superior communication shills and a loathing of apartment owners.