Sirius Radio, the 400 channel satellite radio broadcaster, is celebrating the first anniversary of its channel that plays nothing but Elvis Presley music. That’s OK, but what if this leads to a cable TV channel with nothing but Elvis impersonators?

Told by the officers that they wanted a physical description of the thieves, the Branch manager responded, “Well, they looked pretty scruffy like they were either homeless or landlords.”

A Santa Monica bar owner, Antonio Pedraza is standing trial for killing an angry customer. After the shooting, Pedraza abandoned the bar, his wife and three children. Santa Monica police jumped right on the case and apprehended Pedraza– 19 years later.

Something tells me that, had the bar owner who killed a customer instead been a landlord who killed a tenant, it would not have taken Santa Monica police 19 years to find the killer.

Keep in mind that police recourses must be assigned according to priority. At SMPD, where officers work a three-day week, priority #1 is time off.

What is worse than having two Santa Monica CityTV stations? That would be having 4 CityTV stations, which will be the case under the new franchise agreement with Adelphia Cable. Great-- just when air pollution is showing a little improvement, now this.

The Santa Monica civil engineering and architecture division will be video inspecting sewer mains throughout the city. So see, not all government employees are overpaid.

Is this what they mean by downloading?

A 12-year-old Little League player was convicted of murdering a teammate with a baseball bat. He is about to learn that there is more than one meaning to “three strikes.”

Two San Diego City Councilmen were convicted of exchanging political power for campaign contributions. Shocking isn’t it? The case involved attempts by a strip club owner to loosen San Diego’s prohibition on physical contact between exotic dancers and customers. Santa Monica has no strip clubs. City officials here believe that sex between a man and a woman merits discretion and should occur only in an appropriate place– like one of the City’s 10 massage parlors.

A masked bandit attempted to rob a man at gunpoint in the drive-thru lane of the Ocean Park Jack-in-the-Box. Unfortunately for the bandit the would-be victim was packing heat and killed him with a bullet to the chest. Perhaps the last works the assailant heard were, “Would you like fries with your funeral?”

The Santa Monica City Council voted to allow waterless urinals to be installed in private property. Keep an eye out for this ad campaign: “Coming soon to a Costco near you, the Martha Stewart 24-pack Floral Fantasy Urinal Cakes.”

Actually, waterless urinals have been in use in Santa Monica apartment buildings for many years under a different name: parking garages.

A city councilman has floated the idea of Santa Monica acquiring the Robinson-May building after the retailer closes its doors early next year. That would allow the city to test, in the private market place, its service model of closing nights, weekends, holidays and every other Friday.

Department of Good Intentions: four city-owned trash trucks burned up simultaneously creating a scene worthy of a Hollywood action movie. The tucks were powered by natural gas in an effort to improve air quality.

Reimagine Santa Monica, the city directed effort to solicit community input concerning the redevelopment of Santa Monica Place has been suspended as a consequence of the pending closure of the Robinson’s-May store. The effort may be reinstated at a later date. Perhaps it will be called “Reimagine Reimagining.”