The task of reviewing Santa Monica’s land use element has begun. The process is expected to take two-and-a-half years, or as they say at City Hall: “Practically overnight.”

An internet giant has announced plans to open a new 25,000 square foot office in Santa Monica. After dealing with local government for a while, look for them to change the company name from “Yahoo!” to “Oy Vey!.”

I miss the days of El Niño when it didn’t rain so much.

Santa Monica has a reported transient population of 2,000. With a resident population of 80,000, that’s one transient for every 40 residents. Our city leaders won’t rest, however, until Santa Monica has a free-range chicken in every pot and a homeless in every garage.

Looking at the pictures of Prince Charles and Camilla Parker Bowles sure makes one thankful not to have any royal blood.

I wonder what grant writer proposed the fiction of a beach house having an educational mission. I have never known much serious scholarship to occur at the beach, save for the study of anatomy.

Bobby Shriver was Hollywood’s favorite candidate in Santa Monica’s fall city council race. Donating to his campaign were Oprah Winfrey, Michael Douglas, Catherine Zeta Jones, Steven Spielberg, Barbara Streisand and Phil Donahue. Ray Charles would have given. The only thing that allowed him to avoid the long arm of the Shriver campaign him was death.

The City has settled for $125,000 with the mother of a suicidal stripper who, after being arrested for public intoxication and resisting arrest, hanged herself in her jail cell. Just imagine what it would have cost if Abu Ghraib was located in Santa Monica.

Here’s some advice to anyone saving for a child’s college education. Set up three separate savings accounts: one for tuition, one for living expenses, and one for Starbucks coffee.

A couple was arrested in Santa Monica after they allegedly robbed guests of a local hotel, attempted to run over police with a car and fled the scene of an accident. Other than that their relationship was pretty normal.

A couple was arrested in Santa Monica after they allegedly robbed guests of a local hotel, attempted to run over police with a car and fled the scene of an accident. Other than that their relationship was pretty normal.

The Fisher Lumber site, Santa Monica’s last remaining lumber yard, has been bought by the city. The three acre parcel is likely to be converted to what most cities call a park but in Santa Monica is in reality a homeless day care center.

U. S. Bank, on Santa Monica Boulevard at 23rd Street, was robbed at gun point for the second time in a month and the third time in the last six months. To avoid further inconvenience to customers, the bank is considering installing a drive-through burglary lane.