An owner of 17 units in Santa Monica called saying that she would like to by 3 more units. I asked, “Why 3 units?” She replied, “Well, if I own 20 units I can get free cable”.

The following sign was in front of a local adult video store: ”CLOSED TODAY FROM 9 AM TO 6 PM IN OBSERVANCE OF YOM KIPPUR.”

In the current highly charged political environment, voters face difficult choices on Election Day – for whom to vote for President and whether, if their man loses, to kill themselves.

Just wondering? If Bobbie Shriver uses election to the Santa Monica Council as a springboard to a challenge Arnold Schwarzenegger for governor, who will receive the endorsement of Maria Shriver?

Arnold had better avoid any more rowdy movie sets…

The debates for the Santa Monica City Council Candidates were canceled, since all candidates agreed that the main election year issue is controlling the vagrants that own apartment buildings.

Asked to address allegations of paying $450,000 of hush money to cover-up an alleged gay sexual encounter with his ex-chauffer, televangelist Paul Crouch looked directly into the camera, shook his finger and said, “I declare to you before Almighty God, I did not have sex with that woman, Miss Lewinsky”.

A Santa Monica High School band director entered a not-guilty plea of having improper relations with a 15-year old girl. He added, “What do think I am, some kind of televangelist?”

Don’t you agree there is too much sexual wrongdoing among our church and school leaders? Can’t we return to the days of good old fashion corruption?

There are tougher places to be a fireman than Santa Monica. Recently a reported 24 fireman responded to a fire in an 880 square foot house at 1023 Wilson Place. That’s 1 fireman for every 37 square feet of living space. Let’s just say it wasn’t the Twin Towers.

Looking the other way on the problem of vagrancy leaves the Santa Monica Police Department extra time to pursue other important priorities, like the September 3 sobriety check point on Lincoln Boulevard between Ocean Park Boulevard and Hill Street. The five hour effort involving 2,045 vehicles passing through the checkpoint netted a whopping 4 arrests. According to my math that’s a 2/100 of 1% success rate. Don’t ask about the cost.

uly 1st a transient was released from jail after serving time for a plea bargained deal stemming from a man he was charged with a killing at Lincoln and the I-10 freeway. It’s a good thing he wasn’t driving or he might have really hurt someone.

Why do police & firefighters attend community meetings professing concerns about crime and public safety, while standing by as their union continues to endorse soft-on-crime candidates for City Council?

Parents of Edison Elementary School children angrily confronted City officials demanding heightened security following a non-fatal drive-by shooting. City representatives said they were doing all they could given their financial constraints, presumably for priorities like sobriety checkpoints. A common sense solution evaded the participants. Just move the transient feeding program to the school grounds and no one else will go near the place.

At the very least, panhandling will go down. Can you imagine a transient asking a young gang banger for a little spare change?

Library official asked the City Council for $309,365 for bookshelves for the new library. Apparently the $25,000,000 library bond didn’t stretch far enough for shelves. Hope there is some money left over for books.

At least on November 3, the election will be over, but it seems that CortiSlim ads will run forever.