Long-time landlord activist Chet Hoover passed away recently. The family has requested in lieu of flowers that insults be sent to the Santa Monica Rent Control Board.

City Hall was closed on Friday. Only services deemed critical by the City Council continued: Police, Fire and Parking Tickets.

By a 5-2 vote the City council approved a ban on smoking on the city’s beaches. The ordinance passed after a compromise measure failed that would have allowed beachgoers to light-up provided they didn’t inhale.

It was disclosed that last year the city had 20 employees who earned from $155,000 to $220,000 with 33 days of paid vacation, plus every other Friday off. Can someone say “outsourcing”?

The Santa Monica City council is concerned with the proliferation of national chain stores at the popular Third Street Promenade. To manage the crisis, the city has appointed a new Director of Central Planning, Uri Notgoodenov.

The City of Santa Monica is the only city in California with a triple-A bond rating from all three rating agencies. To determine their ratings, the companies look at three criteria: 1) The amount a city collects from suing companies doing business in the city; 2) In-lieu fees collected from developers; and 3) Building permit fees collected when someone rats on a neighbor doing repairs.

The city is considering the acquisition of two properties that could be made into parking garages. Giddy at the prospect of more parking tickets, council members chanted in unison, “The more meters the merrier.”

Downtown development guidelines were debated by the City Council on Tuesday. At issue is the scale of allowable development, the degree of public input and where to locate the Statue of Lenin.

The two unions representing local teachers announced that they will be endorsing candidates on the November Ballot. For their screening interviews candidates must arrive on time, may not chew gum and must wait for the bell to ring before leaving.

Stealing a page from Gov. Schwarzenegger’s playbook, a group of local school activists forced the City to agree to allocate $6 million per year from the general fund to the school district. The group had threatened to take a charter amendment to the ballot unless the City agreed to its terms. Outraged Councilmember Pam O’Connor huffed, “The schoolyard bully approach to public policy is one of using misrepresentations and threats. Hey, extortion is no way to make public policy”. Hmmmm, it seemed to work OK for SMRR in getting rent control.

The council warned of dire budget constraints that would be imposed as a result of the $6 million that must now be set aside for schools. There goes the idea of paid vacations for the homeless.

It was a bad week at City Hall. In addition to having its budget setting power challenged by school activists, the City had to call off inspections by its “hedge police” as a result of angry protests from homeowners. There was some good news, however. One council member saved $200 per year on his car insurance by switching to GEICO.

There is a reason they are called non-profits. Three local social service groups have combined resources to sponsor a web site to provide the local homeless population with news about available food, shelter, job opportunities, and medical services. The next time you see a homeless person you might check to see if they are logged onto www.smhomeless.org on their laptop.